Reverie

I like my quiet afternoons and cosy nooks Winter sun and comfort books Warmth of the quilt and a sweet cup of tea Languid prose and apricity Your toothy grin and sloppy kiss Playful banter and domestic bliss Little things to some everything to me A small dream of mine to be carefree Nights of starry skies and an inky hue Our linked arms and a love so true #reverie #persephone_writes

From yours and mine to ours. I miss you. I know it's been but a few days but still. Patience has never been a virtue I harboured. I maybe a good pretender...who am I kidding, I'm not.  Jo bhi main kehna chaahu, barbaad karein alfaaz mere.

"Dearest, darling, my universe  Would you take me along?" The morning sun shines bright upon us today It's been a long time coming The unapologetic rays of gold piercing through the clouds of gloom and greys Too many crooked roads we've traveled Our weary bones are home at long last The snow capped mountains shine like the pearl upon the ocean Everything looks so blissfully aware of the advent of spring The tulip bulbs are peeping from their cosy beds The morning glories excited to wake up from their winter slumber The chatter of the cicadas announce her arrival The lilies of the valley are dancing in the breeze Our longings are universal longings, yes, but does that mean we won't do our utmost to quench our thirst The brook babbles by nearby somewhere  Her playful whispers egging us on So near, almost there Reaching out for us to take the plunge "Run away from the world, run on  Go to the end with me, my lover  Will it be a bad ending for us two, gone astray...

  Come to my little hearth, sit a while while I fill the kettle and brew you some Hold my hand as we feel the trickle of time brush us by I'll write poetry again if I could You would read a line or two and smile a little Our hearts would sing if they could Perhaps it is all in this memory Stored away, still Replete with wishes and warm hugs Missings and musings My cold hands warmed by yours We live on in this moment Sacred and a little lost The fire crackles softly as she turns the page The tinkle of the knitting needles  The crinkle of her eyes behind the glasses The warm glow of your eternal spring No more words Just contentment Stay. #reverie  #persephone_writes

I hope your perverse curiousity doesn't rear its ugly head again I hope your mind finds kinder terrains to tread on I hope your duality doesn't scare you when you catch a glimpse on the mirror I hope you don't end up becoming the embodiment of the very qualities you abhorred growing up I hope you don't end up being selfish and unkind I hope you can forgive yourself and others I hope you never stop trying I hope you find kindness and warmth in people and places I hope you can brush off all the dust and debris, the built-up hurt from unkind words and careless snubs I hope you stop losing the people you care about Or stop caring about the people you lose I hope your loved ones judge you less And you judge yourself less as well Life is hard as it is, atleast show some kindness. #reverie

 

  Dear reader If it feels like a trap, you're already in one Dear reader Get out your map, pick somewhere and just run Dear reader Burn all the files, desert all your past lives And if you don't recognize yourself That means you did it right Never take advice from someone who's falling apart Never take advice from someone who's falling apart (You should find another) Dear reader Bend when you can, snap when you have to Dear reader You don't have to answer, just 'cause they asked you (You should find another) Dear reader The greatest of luxuries is your secrets Dear reader When you aim at the devil make sure you don't miss Never take advice from someone who's falling apart Never take advice from someone who's falling apart So I wander through these nights I prefer hiding in plain sight My fourth drink in my hand These desperate prayers of a cursed man Spilling out to you for free But darling, darling, please You wouldn't take my word for it If you...

TS says... "There were pages turned with the bridges burned, everything you lose is a step you take" "Putting someone first only works when you're in their top 5." “Never be so kind, you forget to be clever. Never be so clever, you forget to be kind.” "Never take advice from someone who's falling apart."

Broke a mug today Wiping away the spilled milk Picking up the broken chinks of china Kindness and kinship comes from unexpected places Perhaps they were always there But in my blindspot Always in my blindspot How do we keep missing all that is present right under our noses Hurting the ones closest to us Regrets don't ever stop Do we ever learn?

As you grow up, the stark realisation hits you square in the face that time really is a wonky beast. All of the things that you thought you would do someday don't somehow ever happen. Grief and loss become such inexplicable parts of everyday life that you don't even bat an eye anymore in the face of those perils. Frankly, you don't even have the privilege of sitting with them to ruminate anymore. No need for distractions, you just don't have the 'time'. The unread books gather dust on their shelves, the poems die inside you, the bills keep on piling up relentlessly, every single moment spent with your loved ones becomes precious as you know they may never be repeated again. Every first somehow becomes the last. Changes become so rapid that you feel like the eye of a storm at all times. Every second so precious, every minute valued, every touch cherished, every decision life-changing. #reverie

  It's positively bizarre how fast someone can take over so much of your being. Remember when Coldplay had sung, "Nobody said it was easy, noone ever said it'd be so hard"? Well, they had obviously lied. 'cause it is that easy. Like nothing ever in my life has felt this easy before than being with you.   Sometimes, it scares me - the fear of loss, the what-ifs that come pouring in. But then I remind myself it feels so delicately precious because of how remarkably beautiful it is. I try to look back on times when I've heard them say to live in the moments and be grateful for whatever wonderful we get to be a part of. After all we are but a fragment of this vast universe. I marvel at how lucky one has to be to experience the wholeness of the universe in these brief moments which seem to last forever yet never long enough when we're together. What a conundrum!  They wrote poems about drowning in someone's eyes but haven't they felt the urge to stay af...

I hope you put down these mountains you keep carrying inside your backpack and rest your weary bones at times. I know this world is relentless in its demands. Ruthless to the core, cruel and unforgiving. But you need not be so to yourself. Hear her out, sit with her, let the grief flow. Hug her close and then let her go. Your heart gets heavy I know, at the thought of parting ways with her 'cause she is all you've known for the entirety of your life but trust in time and know that there's more to life than this hurt you keep towing around in that heavy backpack of yours. With time, the past heaviness becomes nothing but phantom pain. Ghosts that keep haunting if you keep them locked up. Free them. Let them go. Forgive and move on. Your feelings are just and valid but don't give them the power to uproot your bearings. I know words hurt but to err is human and to hold on to grudges is more painful. If you haul all the hurt with you, how do you breathe in the new dawn? How...

I saw a different sort of fire upon the mountains. The kind that riots on the roadsides. Claiming the dust and debris. Orange flowers burning in the sun. Glowing embers amidst the dust storm of the mountain roads. Wildflowers or open hearts I never could tell the difference. Then there was the glowing frost upon her crown. Glistening white full of promises of possibilities. You were my Everest. Never just a conquest or an expedition, but a silent prayer standing true in the quakes of time. 'Naseeb' they say, 'destiny'. What is written in the pages of her shrine cannot be denied.  As I woke again from a sleep cut short, filled with the knowledge and truth of the pain and the loneliness despite the company, realisation hit me again. At the face of scepticism, even your biggest champion will not trust. Some battles are yours alone. They can love from a distance but may never really believe your truth. And yet there are those who will go to war for you yet never fully compr...

" I want to be with you, it is as simple, and as complicated as that. " – Charles Bukowski

“I will remember the kisses our lips raw with love and how you gave me everything you had and how I offered you what was left of me , and I will remember your small room the feel of you the light in the window your records your books our morning coffee our noons our nights our bodies spilled together sleeping the tiny flowing currents immediate and forever your leg my leg your arm my arm your smile and the warmth of you who made me laugh again .” – Charles Bukowski

Some days you wish you were back in school. Nonchalance and ignorance were blissful attributes indeed. No cares, stress or uncertainty colouring every step. Worrying eats at you, till your insides turn to putty. If you shut it all off and turn it down do you become less human? The dichotomy of feeling and thinking is overwhelming. One is the precursor to the other one. There is no way to pick any one of the two.  Oblivion cannot be a solution when you start caring. Caring and feeling, dangerous things. They invite with them euphoria, promises of fairytales and the responsibilities that are entailed. Love, duty and social constructs. Navigation skills challenged on the daily. Frequent flyer you maybe but how strong is your ground crew? You think you know them but do you indeed? Your strengths, weaknesses, qualities...self reflection is the hardest pill to swallow. Perhaps, one day we'll learn what it is that makes us 'us'. Till then it's all but just a pursuit of that fe...

I wish you'd write me a eulogy I'm so tired of being just an afterthought A careless doodle on the margin Wrecklessly forlorn On some days it doesn't matter But on days like these It seems so utterly important somehow To matter  I don't often peg you as a sentimentalist Far from it But darling, even Hades fell for Persephone Or so I like to believe Swirling into the wintry mists Like a foggy remnant of promised escapades I whisper your name often into the night air Hoping to catch you unawares for a brief moment I wish you'd write me a eulogy Even if it's a lie Perhaps the adieu will hold the words of affection I so craved to hear from your lips Let the ink bleed the unsaid lies Betrayer hunter fool Romanticising death as the future threatens to tear us apart I wish you'd write me a eulogy #reverie 12/9/2021

Double standards Stubborn hearts Masking hurt Making excuses on their behalf Anger or grief Nursing loneliness Not your home All for the show Numbing the blows No sleep for the wicked Envy or ire Gluttony on the rocks Love served cold on a platter Dancing on her funeral pyre Bloodied feet wrapped in golden anklets Poison truth and lips sworn shut Little lights of a burning aeroplane Grey skies on a full moon night Vulnerability or another liability Cold hard cash counted and caressed Fears and desires trickling down slow Harrowed eyes whispered prayers Not my god Our religion Faith or cut-glass oaths Mercy on you Pagans all Ostracized beggars of momentary proximity #reverie Aug 30, 2023

The more that these questions pool in my mind, the more I am drawn into the abyss of existential dread. The horrors, the enigma and the wonder of it all. The joys, the thrills, the throes of passion. Regaling screams or loving moans..all the same? Broken people love better. I concur. Your callousses are my salvation. Hurt me once, cry a river. Hurt you twice, shame on your naivety. Beggars can be choosers. Lost ships do get found post storm. Even if it is but a wreckage. Treasure can be found in the wreckage after all. #reverie

Daybreak It's easy to get riled up and give in to the hate. I imagine at times what it'd be like to be kind. So kind that when they spew their venom, you want to stop and ask them if they're feeling alright. What hurt them to trigger the vitriol? Where does it hurt? Let me be kind. Empathy is an uphill trek, but the view at the top is worth it.  #reverie

I am terrified that you'll misunderstand or understand too much. See me for who I am or not see the real me. Either way, I am terrified of you leaving. I didn't know it was possible to feel this way - the way I feel when I'm with you. But now that i have tasted you, I don't ever wanna let you go, let this - 'us' go. I earnestly hope we work out. You're in all my prayers now. I know it's early still but I hope this isn't another short-lived euphoria. Let this not be a poem but a novel of sorts. An epic and a happy one at that. I want us to last a lifetime. Please stay. #reverie

 

 

It's a quiet kind of day today. No 'shor' in my head despite the bustle outside the office doors. It's a peaceful day (however, let's not jinx it)..not many people in the office. A rare, quiet day amidst the chaos of adulthood.  #reverie

I hope you aren't a fan of tragic love stories.

Let's just say it isn't easy. I could already see what it would be like. But choosing to step back and walk away, is my way of reclaiming my sanity. Not letting myself go through it. I need to be kind to myself first. I can't keep giving till my hands and heart bleed. Walking on egg-shells for a lifetime cannot be a lifestyle. I choose myself again. I am sorry I cannot be who they want me to be. I am not really sorry, no. 

It takes time. All we have is time now with us. 

Could be a lie. Or not. Yearnings and heartbreaks. Beloved or just unloved. Transactional, cold, contractual. Sorrow brims over as the hollowness of it all surfaces again. Too many curtains. Too many words. Never enough time, never the right words. Doubts and questions. So many questions. Too early to voice, too late to withdraw. Catch and burn. Whom to believe? Faith, innocence or naivety? Crafty letters, masks and balls. They made a liar out of us too. #reverie

There has to be more. There has to be more to us than this feeling. Of despair and dread. If only I didn't feel this need to beg. Moving out of the rooms not meant for me and shutting and locking the doors for good. Not looking back. My sanity shouldn't be a switch in their hands. It hurts in so many places. Places I've forgotten names of. Places where I couldn't even bleed if they held a knife at. Unraveling the threads, bare bodied and glorious. Poetry, words and honey dripping from her tongue. Caged birds forgotten to fly. Never knew the taste of freedom. Haunted and wanted. I just wanted to be held. In prayers and sins, engraved on your heart. Too many questions? I only wanted to know. The weight pulls me under. The waves rush over. Drowning, mourning, celestial love. If not this, then what else? If not us, then nobody ever. Promise? No. Swear on the wind beneath his wings. I choose you. Over and over again.  #reverie