"আলোর জাহাজ ফিরব ঘর আজ, বল না কতদূর?"

 

Rock drowns tears well. 

Slow burn or howling screams. 

The beats of the drums crowding with guitar pangs tear apart and stitch it all together.

I am whole again.

Solace.

'With or without you.'

I am here. 

Too many words.

Curses hurled over my head.

'Wonderwall' protects my sanity.

No man's land. They don't understand. I don't wanna make them. Too tired to explain myself. They judge nevertheless. Kindness  is a lie. Jibes hurt only too much. Self-respect and infatuations fight tooth and nail. In the end, panic wins.

Disco lights and conundrum.

I run scared through walls in tunnels in prolonged nightmares. 

I can't protect her from the one she chose to love, in sickness and in health. .

Faith is fickle.

My abuelita tells me it will all be okay. I want to believe her. I do.

I close my eyes and count to ten. Hide my silent sobs in her quiet prayers.

Cashmere sleeves hide her scars. 

Turn up the volume. 'Your body's a wonderland.'

I think she's going deaf. 

Abuses can't reach her anymore.

Rock and roll can take a caffeine break. 

For now. .

#reverie

From the archives, 2019