Reverie

Now it is done  Dusted even All the things I did not mean I was too self absorbed and selfish Ego and pride No mind of my own, so easily influenced I was fearful and running at full throttle Shutting down the neuron pathways Leading me to facts and truths Truth can be a bitter pill but it can also be multifaced The hurt was real, yes, but on both ends I am so sorry, I cannot  I was so wrong and so shallow Unfeeling even and so brutal Cruel, guarded and didn't have the balls to be vulnerable - not in the true sense To actually be honest or even have the strength to face down my fears and stand for my dreams or for anything really It is so easy to blame others without ever looking inwards I am so sorry for having inflicted so much pain For never having the guts to ever communicate or to actually put in some real effort Always leaving, always running away Always distracting myself Always shutting down, tuning out When will I live When will I have courage When will I be alive All ...