Reverie

I saw a different sort of fire upon the mountains. The kind that riots on the roadsides. Claiming the dust and debris. Orange flowers burning in the sun. Glowing embers amidst the dust storm of the mountain roads. Wildflowers or open hearts I never could tell the difference. Then there was the glowing frost upon her crown. Glistening white full of promises of possibilities. You were my Everest. Never just a conquest or an expedition, but a silent prayer standing true in the quakes of time. 'Naseeb' they say, 'destiny'. What is written in the pages of her shrine cannot be denied.  As I woke again from a sleep cut short, filled with the knowledge and truth of the pain and the loneliness despite the company, realisation hit me again. At the face of scepticism, even your biggest champion will not trust. Some battles are yours alone. They can love from a distance but may never really believe your truth. And yet there are those who will go to war for you yet never fully compr

" I want to be with you, it is as simple, and as complicated as that. " – Charles Bukowski

“I will remember the kisses our lips raw with love and how you gave me everything you had and how I offered you what was left of me , and I will remember your small room the feel of you the light in the window your records your books our morning coffee our noons our nights our bodies spilled together sleeping the tiny flowing currents immediate and forever your leg my leg your arm my arm your smile and the warmth of you who made me laugh again .” – Charles Bukowski

Some days you wish you were back in school. Nonchalance and ignorance were blissful attributes indeed. No cares, stress or uncertainty colouring every step. Worrying eats at you, till your insides turn to putty. If you shut it all off and turn it down do you become less human? The dichotomy of feeling and thinking is overwhelming. One is the precursor to the other one. There is no way to pick any one of the two.  Oblivion cannot be a solution when you start caring. Caring and feeling, dangerous things. They invite with them euphoria, promises of fairytales and the responsibilities that are entailed. Love, duty and social constructs. Navigation skills challenged on the daily. Frequent flyer you maybe but how strong is your ground crew? You think you know them but do you indeed? Your strengths, weaknesses, qualities...self reflection is the hardest pill to swallow. Perhaps, one day we'll learn what it is that makes us 'us'. Till then it's all but just a pursuit of that fe